You are such a bully.
You are a tiny little bully with a big mouth. You need to know that I am done listening to you.
You wanted me weak.
You tried to control me. You wanted me scared and codependent. You wanted me paralyzed by doubt and frozen by insecurity.
But, I have a new love.
I am in love with Love–real, vulnerable, courageous, sacrificial Love. I have a new strength. I have a life. And, I am so over all the wasted time spent listening to your lies.
It is over between us.
When you talk to me, I’m going to out-talk you. I’m going to tell you that you are a liar. I’m going to tell you to shut up and get out of my head. I am blocking your calls. You are getting no more air time with me.
When I see you coming, I’m calling out to Love. I’m slamming the door in your face. I’m doing something good that scares me, just to shake you up a little. It’s your turn to be shaken for once.
You won’t find me in the same places.
You won’t find me on the phone asking for approval.
You won’t find me trying to make people like me.
You won’t find me trying to impress everyone else, including myself, with my packed calendar and busy schedule.
That thing you do? Perfectionism? What a dirty trick. It’s a trick I’m not falling for again. You tried to shut me down and keep me quiet with a promise of perfection. And, all this time, you’ve been running around and cheating me out of something real.
Those nights you showed me every bad thing that could happen so that I would be “prepared?” Ha. The more you talked, the more I studied and planned so I could have it all covered. And yet, you always left one thing out, and I could never get ahead of you.
But, Love has a way of covering it all, so I’m putting my trust elsewhere. I’m done hanging with all your thuggy friends so I can get to know how they think. Death, Violence, and Failure? They can all go with you when you go.
And, you know where you can go.
That’s all I have to say. For now. But know this: if you come back around, it’s never going to happen this way again. Because you will find something different at my door. Love will answer. Love punches Fear in the face, and you will fall. Again and again.
Consider yourself warned. And beaten.
Perfect love casts out all fear. 1 Jn 4:18
What do you need to say to fear?
What other letters do you need to write?