Sometimes I Consider Throwing in the Towel, but That Would Only Make More Laundry for Me.

Laundry.

Sometimes I keep up with it, homemade dryer sheets and all.  And I even enjoy it, the daily rhythm of sort, wash, dry, and  fold.

Other times, I wash and dry as many loads as I can before I stop and fold.  When I’m in a laundry-folding-procrastinating-phase, sometimes I pile load upon load upon load on top of the dryer.  It becomes a game, how many loads can I pile before the whole thing starts to molt, scattering socks and dish towels as the dryer does its thing, rumble and toss.

And then, when the pile threatens to come crashing down, I start stuffing it.  Stuff, stuff, stuff.  Cram it down.  Not a game anymore, this is war.  Me against gravity, my silent protest against years of housekeeping.  Screw it.  I was made for more than this.  Stuff, stuff, stuff.  One more day, I bet I can make it one more day.

My sister says that I manage my laundry like I manage my feelings.

Sometimes, I keep up with them.

Other times.  Well.  You know.

Stuff, stuff, stuff.

And I am not aware of them until life does its thing, and I feel it, and I am rumbled and tossed, and I am scattered.  The pieces fall where they may and land, jaggedly, on whoever stands the closest.  I used to land on my kids, hard and loud, but the pieces of me fall more evenly, now, and more in a heavenly place.

This is the post that didn’t want to be written.  It still doesn’t.  It is still stuffed down inside of me.

Some things are crammed in the middle of the pile, like laundry Jenga.  Pull too hard on those jeans, and everything explodes.

You just have to start at the top and work down.  I’m working my way down.  Some layers get stuffed in there for so long, they are molded in that stiff dried clothes formation.  How does that even happen?  It’s so weird.  A soft washcloth, let it dry all wonky in that hard little wad, and it’s never the same again.

Thankful for the great laundry service in the sky.  Fold me, Lord.  Deliver me from the endless loads and hard little wads that try to take over my days.

Jesus.  Your load is light.

Speaking of a light load, I have a few left to do today.

See you on the other side of the teetering tower.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. . .  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.  Mt 11:28, 30

11 thoughts on “Sometimes I Consider Throwing in the Towel, but That Would Only Make More Laundry for Me.”

  1. The laundry pile “molts”–one short verb transforms an inanimate pile of unfolded laundry into a living, breathing, messy giant bird-monster. Ewwwee.
    Wonky washcloth wads and teetering towers threaten the safety of the utility room.
    But it’s not about the laundry; it’s about our behavior and our attitudes. Tangible truth with grace–the Jesus way to redemption. It’s not about crucifying ourselves because we err; it’s about admitting the fallibility, gentle to ourselves and to those who add to the basket, and doing better with intentionality, with lapses. It’s about growth and honesty and imperfection.
    I LOVE this post, Fearless Lady.

    1. i love how you delight in the word plays! lol! they are so fun for me too–giant molting laundry bird! Truth with grace–amen!!!

  2. Thank you for the beautifully expressed words of encouragement. Yea! I’m not alone in my frustration, nor am I alone in how I tend to stuff, stuff, stuff that frustration until all the teetering towers come tumbling down.
    I love that God loves me through the mess and that He’s teaching me to give it to Him PRE-tumble!
    Onward & upward, cracked vessels of the Most High!

  3. You are so beautiful and elegant in everything you say and do. Even on your bad days and especially then, you have Gods greatest attention. He loves your weaknesses and He embraces them like a spectacular flower in bloom. He sees no wrong in you. ZERO.

    Thank you for this uplifting post and a great reminder of how loved we really are. We perceive our messes as shame many times, He sees them as beautiful opportunities to love us even deeper. Shew.

    1. This is so kind, Shannon! Thank you a million times for the encouragement. His load is light. #grateful

  4. “And then, when the pile threatens to come crashing down, I start stuffing it. Stuff, stuff, stuff. Cram it down. Not a game anymore, this is war. Me against gravity, my silent protest against years of housekeeping. Screw it. I was made for more than this. Stuff, stuff, stuff. One more day, I bet I can make it one more day.”

    When I read that part, the Holy Spirit said, “This is what you do.” And when I read the part about being in the Heavenly Places a lot more these days, He said, ” That is also true for you.”

    Did you write this about me….?

    <3

    1. He is so wise. So thankful He speaks to our hearts through each other. Love you, Ginny. <3

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