On Confiding, Confidants, and Confidence.


A thing to nurture.

I think it’s interesting that the words “confide” and “confidant,” share a root with the word “confidence.”

Ever notice how the person you allow to be your confidant, the one in whom you confide, how that person affects your level of confidence?

Some people know how to listen to our dreams and validate them and catch the vision. They know how to encourage, or infuse us with courage.

Confide. Confidant. Confidence.


Other people may be negative and condescending and dismissive, and we leave feeling like our dreams are dirty dish rags, worth nothing. And our confidence takes a nasty hit. These people are not our confidants.

I had a counselor one time who always said, “Protect the seed.”

What he meant by that was, “Be careful who you allow to be your confidant.”

Protect the seed.


Be careful who you tell your hopes and dreams to, especially in the “seed,” or beginning stages when dreams are more fragile. Be careful with whom you share your closely and tenderly held dreams, and who you allow to speak into your life.

I’ve heard T.D. Jakes say that most people have very few earthly confidants—friends who love you, who believe in you, who are for what you’re for, against what you’re against, and, quite simply for you in every way.

Don’t take your confidants for granted.


Even when you’re wrong, confidants see your best intentions. Even when you miss the mark, they cheer you on to get up and try again. Because. They believe you can succeed, and they enjoy your process in the meantime.

If you have two to three, or even one to two, confidants in your life, you are truly blessed. Don’t take them for granted. Nurture those friendships. And don’t confide in people who aren’t true confidants.

Of course, Jesus is the ultimate confidant. When I share secrets with Him, I write them down. Then I listen. And I get to add His vision to mine. He’s the best. And the same is true with Him. Investing in my relationship with Him every day makes it easier to go to Him on the days I’m in need of a confidant.

You may have friends or family members who are still good for you and loyal to you and love you but are simply not confidants in the area of your dreams.

Jesus is the ultimate confidant.


Maybe they worry that you are being too risky or that you will be hurt in some way. These people are also great blessings, and their response comes from a place of wanting to protect *you.* We need those people too, but they just aren’t always the people who know how to protect the seed.

So don’t hand them the seed. Do seek wise counsel, but don’t confide in people who don’t know how to hear you in those moments.


Confiding in people who are not your confidants will rob you of your confidence.

Nurturing relationships with and confiding in your confidants will increase your confidence.

Jesus is the best confidant.

You will know them by the fruit that their words and friendship bear in your heart.

Your dreams are worth protecting!!! Protect the seed!

Those who guard their lips preserve their lives. Prov 13:3a

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